Jaunty and Rakish

Mustaches are like salads, usually best when simply dressed. But sometimes crushed velvet, tights and a commanding hat are the only appropriate accoutrement.

Another Sad Mustache

But I have an explanation for both, I think. Each is sad because they know nothing of their long lost twin.

Our 200th Post!

While a fine mustache indeed, of greatest interest to hirsutologists lies in the fact that this might be the first photographic evidence of the "faux-hawk."

The interns note that his plaintive eyes long for a night of "clubbing." Though, why such a finely dressed man would want to spend all-night beating baby seals to death is beyond me. There are French-Canadians to do that sort of work!

The Courageous Mustache

A lack of any legs has not impeded this man from growing a fine mustache. I ask the male readers of this journal, here on this chilly first day of Spring, what is your excuse?

A Formidable Nietzsche

While mustaches this full were occasionally grown to cover up the sort of severe lip injuries common in the Crimean War, I think the hastily retied neck wear belies this gentleman's success with the ladies. Perhaps a tryst with the photomixing girl in the congreve closet...

The Minimum Stain

A fine mustache ruined by a dribble beard. Shameful.

The Properly Populated Philtrum

Now this is a fine and dense philtrum, brooking no argument from the whithers or tips.

Fade, Fading Away

This gentleman's mustache is ghostly and barely there, as if were camouflaging itself from the dread North American Hook-Beaked Mustache Swallow. A brilliant example of microevolutionary adaptation. Bravo!

Monday Morning Amazing

One of the most fabulous faceshelves I have ever discovered! What wit, wealth and women this gentleman must have enjoyed!

The Modern Mustache

A very forward looking mustache from a very forward looking man.

The Sad Mustache

I cannot decide if he is morose that his mustache barely makes it down his face for a proper lip waterfall (often vulgarly called a Fu Manchu in the modern era) or if his visible distress is due to a catastrophic state of flaccidity in what should have been a spectacular overhand twist.

The Simple Mustache

Alas, it is almost too simple for his outfit, the striped tie attracts the eye too readily.

The Tightly Rolled Mustache

A highly refined and tight overhand twist.

Happy Guy Fawke's Night!

Sadly, you must refer to our sister site Van Dykes of the Seventeenth Century to get the full experience of this holiday.

Also, one last question from late last night:

Burton Newall said...
I do not understand, sir. You write that the best mustache grooming products are illegal. What could surpass the tradition half-and-half mixure of beeswax and petroleum jelly, I ask you?
November 4, 2007 10:50 PM

The galvanic properties of penguin-based unguents could static-charge an overhand twist for an entire night of promenades or even the most brutally long of debutante balls. Additionally, the ear wax of the rare red panda was far superior to beeswax in many ways, allowing for more complex twisting and braiding. It would also last for days on a single application. Narwhal tooth combs are another product denied the mustachioed gentleman.

All Saint's Day Mustache

Is this a mustache you want to visit cemeteries with? Look at those finely wound overhand twists. I think you know the answer in your hearts.

The Most Frightening Costume For A Mustache

A scruffy beard!

Devil's Night Mustache

"Dewey? We do."

I do not care for the mixture of puns and mustaches.

A Devil's Night note: Never prank a mustachioed man, their powers can have more uses than just the romantic.

The White Tie Mustache

Only a man with absolute confidence in his mustache's density would dare to be photographed in profile.

The Literary Mustache

Jerome K. Jerome, author of Three Men and a Boat. (Not "Two Men in a Boat" as the hapless albuminist has printed on his backing card.)

The Modern Mustache

This gentleman's mustache, despite a period fullness, is clearly the forerunner of the modern mustache so favored by peace officers and members of motorized velocipede enthusiast clubs.