Exceptionally Erudite

While he is a very intelligent looking man, I am not sure that during portraiture is the best time to indulge relief from omphalic itching.

The Steely Glint of Capitalism In His Eye

How that monster Stalin was able to subvert such a fine free-market mustache to his twisted philosophy is one of the great laments of mustachiologists.

The Virile Mustache

His wife is visibly exhausted by his virile mustache and the husbandly power it holds over her.

Remembering IOOMRF

A fine gentleman with a fine mustache, but the historical heft of this image is on his lapel. It is a rare photograph of an International Order of Mustache Relief Fellows membership pin. Every major city in the civilized world had a IOOMRF chapter house, ready to lend a hand to mustachioed and unmustached alike. This fine men were all pillars of their community and lead by example of their fine mustaches. They would give lectures on mustache grooming and public demonstrations of mustache safety procedures. They were also known for their fund drives and parades, raising money for widows, orphans, and the medically unmustache. Unfortunately, changing styles and the electric razor took their toll on the membership at large and the organization is largely forgotten.

In recent years, though, a number of like-mided organizations, both literal and spiritual descendants of IOOMRF, have sprung up. If you would like to support mustaches in your area, I urge you to seek out organizations like Mustaches For Kids, Team Mo-Mentum, and Fund-A-Stache. Fine folks doing fine work, and keeping the mustache alive.

The Balding Philtrum

Another view of the grotesque effects of a malformed philtrum.

Once again I must show you a mustache with pronounced pugilistic effect. I would beg the forbearance of my loyal readers with delicate constitutions.

Plain, But Respectable

It is a shame that he does not capitalize on the wonderful density and tall philtrum and whithers Nature has provided him.

Lieutenant General Nelson Appleton Miles

A fine mustache that saw action in the US Civil War, the Indian Wars, and the Spanish-American War. Miles eventually rose in the ranks to become Commanding General of the United States Army, the last person to hold that title.

Another Overshadowing Tie

But when his facespanner finally, fully comes in, he'll show that shiny tie whatfor.

The Cleansing Mustache

Let us wipe away the moral horror of yesterday's mustache with this fine example.

The Tiniest Of Overhand Twists

They are so small they might fool the untrained mustache aficionado into think they are merely a natural curl. I also appreciate that he was so proud of his fine mustache as to choose glasses that do not distract the eye.

An Understated Underhand Twist

The Silverback Mustache

The Silverback Mustache often denotes prominence in the tribe and access to prime breeding females.

The Second Greatest Disappointment of the Modern Age

The death of the monocle signaled a sad passing of an age of elegance in men's single-lensed eyepieces. None of the newfangled devices for correcting the vision in only one eye can even compare.

This gentleman's closely trimmed sideburns results in a rakish 1:1 ratio, possibly even a scandalous negative ratio of 1:0.5. Shocking. In a more licentious age, I'm sure many a tipsy lady's ankle would have been exposed to him during a beach visit.

Profiles in Mustache Courage

Dapper

What The Mustache Says About the Man

Those that have but a little Mustache, are of an ill nature.

Richard Saunders
Physiognomie and chiromancie, metoposcopie, the symmetrical proportions and signal moles of the body: fully and accurately handled, with their natural-predictive-significations : the subject of dreams, divinative, steganographical, and Lullian sciences: whereunto is added the art of memorie
1653

The Tucked Tie Mustache

The Business Mustache

Whether timber baron or whale oil tycoon, I can think of no more proper business attire than a properly groomed mustache.

A High Refinement of the Art

After all the discussion of disease, beardism, and bird attacks, it was high time that a fine, healthy, full, and manly mustache was featured.

A Fine Part

This dapper young fellow has just started growing his overhand twists, but his mustache part is exquisitely defined.