More Mustache Slander: The Colbert Report

It has come to my attention that inconsequential TV funnyman Stephen Colbert made the following pronouncement on his little-watched basic cable "news" show.

"They [homosexuals] have already claimed mustaches and short-shorts, they've ruined those for the rest of us."

and later

"A statistical correlation [between mustaches and homosexuality], it's not cause and effect. Mustaches don't make you gay, but they don't help."

This is the sort of ill-considered tripe that flows from the follicularly impaired, Mr. Colbert. Gay or straight, any mustached man is more masculine than a barelipped buffoon such as you!

Jingoism: The last refuge of the clean-shaven scoundrel!

Finally, Some Form Of Justice

A reader, anonymous and possibly fearful of reprisal, brought to my attention the sad plight of Victor Joynath De who was fired from his air steward job on Indian Airlines for sporting this fine facespanner:



A Calcutta court has reinstated the fine gentleman to his job, after months of legal wrangling.

The reason cited by the airline? His mustache was unhygienic! Unhygienic? Balderdash!

I urge all my loyal readers to send a letter of protest to Indian Airlines and to boycott their corporation forthwith. How horrible it is to find this level of mustache ignorance and prejudice in the modern world.

Long may Victor Joynath De's mustache reign!