Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Treasured Comment From A Treasured Commenter

If You've Only Got A Moustache
Stephen Foster (1864)

Oh! all of you poor single men,
Don't ever give up in despair,
For there's always a chance while there's life
To capture the hearts of the fair,
No matter what may be your age,
You always may cut a fine dash,
You will suit all the girls to a hair
If you've only got a moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
If you've only got a moustache.

No matter for manners or style,
No matter for birth or for fame,
All these used to have something to do
With young ladies changing their name,
There's no reason now to despond,
Or go and do any thing rash,
For you'll do though you can't raise a cent,
If you'll only raise a moustache!
A moustache, a moustache,
If you'll only raise a moustache.

Your head may be thick as a block,
And empty as any foot-ball,
Oh! your eyes may be green as the grass
Your heart just as hard as a wall.
Yet take the advice that I give,
You'll soon gain affection and cash,
And will be all the rage with the girls,
If you'll only get a moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
If you'll only get a moustache.

I once was in sorrow and tears
Because I was jilted you know,
So right down to the river
I ran To quickly dispose of my woe,
A good friend he gave me advice
And timely prevented the splash,
Now at home I've a wife and ten heirs,
And all through a handsome moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
And all through a handsome moustache.

I'd like to thank Loyal Reader Caitlin GD Hopkins for bringing this delightful (and accurate!) song to my attention. The link also includes a MP3 of the song suitable for downloading. Sadly, the linked MP3 is not played on the traditional Jaw Harp and Concertina that Foster preferred.

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Unhappy Marriage

While a fine mustache is a boon to any relationship, look hither at the bearded marriage. His deep despair. Her dead eyes and forced smiled. The sadness of this image resonates through the centuries...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Soft-Focus Mustache

This gentleman decided to memorialize his mustache with an opaque glass ambrotype. A bold choice considering the amount of fine detail that was lost. Perhaps a lover was the intend of this image, but leaving researchers and aficionados such as ourselves in a historic fog.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Desperate Times Call For Manly Mustaches

Devoted Reader Alice W. points us to this discussion of the bold mustaches that have have been chosen to lead our country out of these dark times.

The Year Of The Mustache by Anya Strzemien

William Howard Taft

A little examined chapter of the life if our Last Mustachioed President, William Howard Taft, is the turbulent years before he could grow a mustache.

I would be an angry infant as well if I knew how long it would be for that mustache to be mine...