Monday, December 7, 2009

The Mustache Against All Odds

Despite being the victim of a crude forehead trepanation, this laconic gentleman still finds the will to maintain a fine mustache.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Mustacheless Stand

...and yet still must lean on the mustachioed for support. So typical for those hapless in their liphairlessness.

Monday, October 5, 2009

The Deep Wells

I do believe that being surrounded in world filled with inferior mustaches has driven his poor fellow quite mad. If most gentlemen had the length and density of his wild mustache, this might be the best of all possible worlds. Alas, that lack is the despair in his eyes.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Diseases of the Mustache: Acute Follicular Seizure

While I have spoken before of the dread Acute Follicular Seizure, until now I have not been able to present photographic testament of the results. This poor gentleman had been sorely affected as some point in his past; the wispy tips and contorted growth patterns are clear indicators. While lucky that it was not severe enough to produce baldness, the mustache will never be the same. Still, he wears what cruel nature has inflicted upon him with a full measure of dignity. Huzzah, sir!

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Haberdashery Imperative

Matching hat to mustache is a sartorial computation that this gentleman has solved quite well.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

We Three Mustached Gentleman

The win, place and show resultants from the Mid-Atlantic Inventors Fair and Mustache Cultivation Championships of 1871. While history lauds the Inventors Fair's Norris Benderstaff and his breakthrough discovery of mica-laced tooth powders, little is known of the Champion Mustache Cultivators. Due to the long tradition and unwavering intricacies of mustache competitions, we do know that the winner stands, the runner-up sits at his right hand, and The Mustache Genteelity prizewinner at his left. But all the rest, even these gentleman's names, has been lost to the restless combs of history.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

A Failure of the Tintypist's Art

Having your photograph taken in the mid-Nineteenth Century was no mere trifle. It was a not inconsiderable expense, even by the time of the tintype. This gentleman with his fine, dark suit, impressive tie, and expertly pomaded hair just wanted a portrait of his thick and luxurious mustache made. Maybe he wanted to give it as a gift to a visiting countess or simply to document his mustache in its full plumage for his adoring grandchildren. But those hopes and dreams were dashed by the inexpert hand of a tintypist that had so little regard for his subjects as to mis-center this poor man, and even cut off his left-elbow. The left-elbow! The 2nd most erotic portion of a man in the Nineteenth Century! For shame, inept tintypist. You have robbed this man of perfection in immortality.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Blurry Mustache

A slovenly display of the tintypist's art. Shameful that this gentleman's compact mustache be given such short shrift.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Drowsy Mustache

It looks like someone has been spending too much time at the local somnambulist outfitters. I hope he does not shave off his mustache in a fit of hypnagogic dysphoria.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Jaunty and Rakish

Mustaches are like salads, usually best when simply dressed. But sometimes crushed velvet, tights and a commanding hat are the only appropriate accoutrement.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Mustache Resource

Loyal Reader Kate T. has alerted me to a valuable mustache resource. As reported by the indispensable Indicommons, a "Great Mustaches of The LOC" tag has been added to the Library of Congress photostream on Flickr. While most of the images already tagged are not of the Nineteenth Century vintage, there are many fine examples of the styles that survived until after The War To End All Wars.

For example, Dr. John T Gerin's impressive, yet still professional, faceshelf.

A "Good Show" to all involved!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Rugged Mustache

A fine and thick mustache that saw this gentleman's upper lip through many a harsh Missouri winter. A mustache that struck West, and surely found riches and the attentions of a good wife.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Abused Tintype

A jaunty hat, a fine mustache, and an impressive gold watchchain were not enough to keep this poor gentleman's tintype from being attacked. Some barelipped hooligans folded it in half, most likely in a fit of extreme jealousy.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Mustaches of the Civil War

A younger image than usual of the of the man who lent his name to the sideburn, Ambrose Burnside. Darker and shorter than the classic face-shelf he supports in the popular imagination, this is an intimate look at the origins of a classic American mustache style.

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Friday the 13th Mustache

What horrors those blank eyes have seen. And with Valentine's Day right 'round the corner!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Streamlined Mustache

His jaunty bouffant and rapscallion tie reveal him to be a man of a terpsichorean bent. The streamlined mustache supports this conclusion wonderfully.