Monday, October 29, 2007

The Returning Mustache

The research trip was quite successful. I found many new examples of exquisite nineteenth century mustachery to share with you in the coming months. I traveled savage lands indeed, full of strange peoples with even stranger customs.

It was one of these customs that poor Joseph ran afoul of… During a wondrous parade in a quaint western village, Joseph became entranced with one of the thickest English style mustache either of us had ever seen in modern times. Perhaps deranged from low pay and long days of combing private facial hair archives, Joseph attempted to take a mustache rubbing without making himself clear to the owner. A confrontation occurred and he was swept away in the great wave of humanity and has been missing ever since.

But there was good news. Joseph never had a chance to cash his final paycheck. I should be able to find a new intern with these monies. And this rare specimen was found, offered with only stunned silence…

19 comments:

bardhol said...

my father has a mustache.

Anonymous said...

Mustache, mustache...great theme. To shave or not to shave? That is the question. Shaved I am, from nose to lip.

Erin O'Brien said...

When I married the Goat, he had a glorious mustache in which I delighted in our nuptial bed in ways I shall not detail herein.

He shaved it off shortly thereafter and still refused to return the dowry!

upsy-downsy said...

What a delightful, interesting site!! Never knew there was that much-to-do about mustaches.

Rusty Wicks said...

What a fun site! Mustaches, hmm...I may need to be sure the hero in my next book has a mustache. :)

April's Place said...

interesting idea for a blog ;-)

Dem said...

Of course here they're called moustaches. I'm growing one now for the first time since I sported a George Harrison as a much younger man so I was pleased to see this listed in the blogs of note. This time I'm aiming for something more along the lines of an Errol Flynn, the famous Australian moving picture performer of yore. Any and all grooming and cultivation tips much appreciated. For instance, that thing about rubbing the hairless area with salt to tempt the hair out for a drink, then tying a knot in it near the root so it can't retreat back under the skin, what salt works best - sea or siberian mined?

J said...

dem,

While salting is a fine way to start a mustache, one should proceed with caution. Any free chloride could result in Acute Follicular Seizure. A fast growing mustache is a wonderful thing, but AFS can wither a mustache for life.

Your Faithful Servant,
J

J said...

erin o'brien,

I believe voluntary mustachioedlessness is grounds for divorce in many of the colonies. Your local Mustache Widows Support should have information on that front.

Your faithful Servant,
J

Richard McLaughlin said...

I was in the Marine Corps for about 10 years and we had really tight rules about the 'stash.

The only thing to do was try and go beyond the limit of sane people

http://richardmclaughlin.biz

(lord) franko said...

huzzah, welcome home old chap!

i second the inquiry for more moustache maintenance tips. to condition or not? waxes, pomades, or ??

maximum follicle integrity must be maintained!

J said...

M' Lord (franko),

Conditioners are rarely desired. While the soft mustache pleases ladies, it can lack the structure required for proper twisting. Regular soap and water is best, for you want to maintain the native bacteria present in a healthy mustache.

As for pomades and waxes, since the best mustache styling products are now illegal, I cannot vouch for any modern product in good conscious.

Your Faithful Servant,
J

Dem said...

J,

Thanks for the advice. I have recently come across a saltless method involving hair charming music not unlike the music used in the colonies to lure serpents from their hiding places. I have ordered a gramaphone recording of said music from a local merchant and will report back on its effectiveness once received. It does rather beg the question - what knot, what?

Your grateful subscriber,

D

Ray said...

Oh how delightful, a site devoted to the gentle art of the Mustache. I hope Sir you will not preclude the feminine in your exploration. A gentle lady-tache is unique in itself and deserving of a mention among those of the male counterpart. I look forward to reading of future discoveries.

Jake_L_974 said...

I must say, good man, that your blog gives rise to the faith that humanity is not indeed lost.

But rather entangled in the facial hair of years past.

Write on sir, write on...

kevyn said...

i am newbie to the mustache world. i have recently grown a nice handlebar. your blog will be insightful and educational. keep up the good work!

Julie R said...

what a delight to have found you!

i have featured you today, to celebrate my having found you.

Dan said...

I thought these might be of use to you. Although they were written in the twentieth century, they require nineteenth century humor to enjoy them. I don't know this Doctor Awesome character, but I fear he makes these jokes because he is sans mustache. This man is identical to those with lip toupees - jealousy can drive you downright barmy.

http://docawe.blogspot.com/2006/06/mustache-jokes.html

Respectfully,

Casual Reader

Anonymous said...

etimology of word mustache?!