Friday, November 2, 2007

The Balding Mustache



At least he will always be able to count on his thick mustache.

A Special Note To My Readers

Now that the paganish hootenanny of Halloween is finished, I can see now that the loss of Joseph maybe permanent, and not some cruel prank he has pulled upon his employer. Joseph has run off before, but has often returned after a few nights, reeking of sugar cane liquor and sporting an infant beard. I truly miss the burly simpleton and will hold out hope for his return.

But my work must go on, and I have obligations to you, my faithful readers. Many of you have posited questions in the comments that I have yet to respond to. I plan to spend the weekend grieving Joseph and creating a series of posts to the main page to answer the most pertinent. All of your comments are a wonderful comfort to me during this time, even those from benighted souls who wail out against the mustache and advocate its destruction. This is America after all, and you are as free as anyone to express opinions that are wrongheaded, ignorant, and public evidence of ill-breeding.

Please use the comments of this post to ask any burning mustache queries you haven't yet put in comment posts past.

15 comments:

Unknown said...

You sir, have my condolences on the loss of your manservant, but I'm sure he'll return in due time.

Elise said...

Your crazy! I love the blog, what inspired you?

Anonymous said...

i'm sure the jackanape will return within a fortnight, but if he doesn't, good riddance to bad help, i say. you can soldier onwards without him, though -- i have faith!

as for questions not yet asked, how about this:

what's your favorite style, pray tell, and can you post an example?

Peter Anderson said...

How is it, that a man so rich with worldly upper lip hair knowledge, finds the time to educate the mustached peasants of the world so generously?
Also notably, I saw Joseph not long ago, foraging through a trash receptacle filled with rotted fruit and skeletons of decomposed fish.

peterandchase.blogspot.com

Avitov said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Oscar said...

Good Sir, please answer:
what's the best way to apply moustache wax? Not for a extremely huge moustache, just for something more stylish, I mean.
And:
Is it true that moustached men deliver more pleasure to moustached and to non-moustached women?

Anonymous said...

Dear Sir,

Ahoy hoy! I thank you for your superior efforts in bringing to this fine blog the gallant hirsute mustachioed gentlemen of the 19th century, and also, for the denunciation of the barbaric hordes of bearded scalawags and the clean-shaven Nancies.

Toy Illustration said...

The following message was left me by a slight and scruffy man who insisted I forward it to you. It was written in a drawling longhand that was difficult to decifer, but I have attempted to do my best, as the bearer of it had become quite agitated before he left me. Here it is as I understand it:

MOOGA! Forbin zan IKBID! SHAVE! HA HA HA!!!
-J

Clearly, the writer of this letter is on the verge of breakdown. The three exlaimation points are a clear sign of mental fatigue, if not outright insanity.

Anonymous said...

This is such a great blob!! Keep up the good work!

P said...

I appreciate your love of mustaches, but I'm disheartened by your sneering dismissal of full beards. Perhaps you could more fully articulate your thoughts on beardism, and hopefully you can do so with an eye toward mutual understanding at least, if not brotherhood, and unity against the cleanshaven.

Unknown said...

One week and four score days ago I began my moustache quest - I fear that since this time, due to the vast quantities of soup and milk it has been collecting within it's mighty foliage, I have rid myself of it. Now I have a bountiful beard but, alas, no 'tache.

As a consequence, sadly, this may not be the blog for me. If, sir, you know of one so eloquent as yours that covers simply beards, do pray tell.

In your debt,
Johnskibeat
http://johnskibeat.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
neenee said...

In 19th century Iran, women with mustaches were considered most beautiful...check out this fascinating book by Najmabadi: 'Women with Mustaches and Men without Beards'. Could also be an interesting post :)

Anonymous said...

@ Halfang:

good sir, it is in my own personal experience that the proper way to apply mustache wax is to put a bit 'twixt forefinger and thumb, and rub it a bit to warm it up before applying it. i've also read that you can use a hair dryer (!) to keep it warm while shaping your 'stache.

not sure how our hirsute forefathers managed without the benefit of electrical devices, but i'm hoping our genteel host might have this knowledge.

Hazel Alyna said...

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