Warning to the fairer sex, unaccompanied minors and those with weak constitutions, today's post is on a rather shocking matter.
Let us spend this one day contemplating the most foolish of facial hair:
The Mustacheless Beard
With no mustache, sideburns or cheek bridge, this represents the reverse face-shelf. Truly horrible to behold.
This mustacheless patriarch surely ruled his family with a cruel and iron fist. Possibly because no woman could love a deliberately barelipped authoritarian. The seeds of feminism were sown from his unnatural co-location of facial and chest hair.
A furious expression on a mustacheless face. What joy can be had without a mustache?
Of course, my condemnation of the mustacheless beard does not extend to the Amish and Mennonite communities, who are mustacheless for religious reasons. As wikipedia explains:
Moustaches are not allowed, because they are associated with the military, and because they give opportunity for vanity. The avoidance of military styles has origins in the religious and political persecution in 16th and 17th century Europ. Men of the nobility and upper classes, who often served as military officers, wore moustaches but not beards, and the pacifist Amish avoid moustaches because of this association.