The Twin Mustache

How rare it is to cultivate a fine mustache, but the cultivate two at the same time of the same high quality... Outstanding! 'Tis a pity that they cannot stand proudly side-by-side. The sitting twin lost his leg to a fearsome Alligator during a trip to Flo-rida. Will we ever tame that savage State?

The Mustache Sufferer

Why is this fellow so disappointed? He has a lovely mustache and wife. Perhaps he is a sufferer of the dread neurasthenia. Too bad the unfortunately named Dr. Beard* is not around to diagnosis him.

*In regards to the image at the referred page: While I find myself disappointed that Dr. Beard does not possess a mustache, he is at least beardless, which befits his advanced education and medical acumen. His hearty Sideburns allude to a fine mustache that might have been. Now I seem to be filled with neurasthenia... Curse the ceaseless vicissitudes of Melancholia!

The Desperate Mustache

There is a sad touch of desperation in this poor man's look. Perhaps he knows he is the target of an imminent mustache-napping plot. Can you imagine the horror of finding your mustache missing and a note demanding ransom stapled to your upper lip? To be set upon by the medical and natural perils of mustache stewardship is one thing--barbaric theft is quite another!

A Dandy Mustache

An absolutely delightful mustache on this fine figure of a dandy. Thin and sharp--almost sharp enough to cut through the fog of history. And his amazing oversize bow-tie surely meant he was the manly he-belle of whatever ball he attended.

The Annals of Mustache Villainy

Regular readers of this poor journal will be familiar with my quirks and prejudices. I defend the mustache in all forms and the fine men and women who wear them from all assaults. But there is villainy in the mustache family:



Presented here is true villain from mustache history, John Wilkes Booth, murderer of the 16th President if these United States, Abraham Lincoln.

This heretofore unknown image of the assassin was uncovered by the keen eye of Josh Hager while working at Rare Book, Manuscript, and Special Collections Library at Duke University. Read his entire adventure at the RBMSCL blog, The Devil's Tale.

Brought to my attention by the ever faithful Amy McDonald.

Golden Locks, Golden Looks

Perhaps a tad windblown, and perhaps a bit perturbed by the state it has left his hair in, but his mustache is as sturdy as the price of gold.

Another Fine and Bushy Fellow

A mustache so full and boisterous, it completely consumes his upper and lower lips. Delightful.

Wild Mustaches Cannot Be Broken

Look upon it in all its bushy glory. More beautiful than a prarire sunrise and more pure than the cleanest mountain system. This was a mustache that help build America.

The Early Faceshelf

Years before Chester A. Arthur, this gentleman was, as the kids say, "rockin'" this fantastic faceshelf. Although his egregious off-centeredness suggests The Shameful Tintypist has struck once more.

The Mustache Against All Odds

Despite being the victim of a crude forehead trepanation, this laconic gentleman still finds the will to maintain a fine mustache.

The Mustacheless Stand

...and yet still must lean on the mustachioed for support. So typical for those hapless in their liphairlessness.

The Deep Wells

I do believe that being surrounded in world filled with inferior mustaches has driven his poor fellow quite mad. If most gentlemen had the length and density of his wild mustache, this might be the best of all possible worlds. Alas, that lack is the despair in his eyes.

Diseases of the Mustache: Acute Follicular Seizure

While I have spoken before of the dread Acute Follicular Seizure, until now I have not been able to present photographic testament of the results. This poor gentleman had been sorely affected as some point in his past; the wispy tips and contorted growth patterns are clear indicators. While lucky that it was not severe enough to produce baldness, the mustache will never be the same. Still, he wears what cruel nature has inflicted upon him with a full measure of dignity. Huzzah, sir!

The Haberdashery Imperative

Matching hat to mustache is a sartorial computation that this gentleman has solved quite well.

We Three Mustached Gentleman

The win, place and show resultants from the Mid-Atlantic Inventors Fair and Mustache Cultivation Championships of 1871. While history lauds the Inventors Fair's Norris Benderstaff and his breakthrough discovery of mica-laced tooth powders, little is known of the Champion Mustache Cultivators. Due to the long tradition and unwavering intricacies of mustache competitions, we do know that the winner stands, the runner-up sits at his right hand, and The Mustache Genteelity prizewinner at his left. But all the rest, even these gentleman's names, has been lost to the restless combs of history.

A Failure of the Tintypist's Art

Having your photograph taken in the mid-Nineteenth Century was no mere trifle. It was a not inconsiderable expense, even by the time of the tintype. This gentleman with his fine, dark suit, impressive tie, and expertly pomaded hair just wanted a portrait of his thick and luxurious mustache made. Maybe he wanted to give it as a gift to a visiting countess or simply to document his mustache in its full plumage for his adoring grandchildren. But those hopes and dreams were dashed by the inexpert hand of a tintypist that had so little regard for his subjects as to mis-center this poor man, and even cut off his left-elbow. The left-elbow! The 2nd most erotic portion of a man in the Nineteenth Century! For shame, inept tintypist. You have robbed this man of perfection in immortality.

The Blurry Mustache

A slovenly display of the tintypist's art. Shameful that this gentleman's compact mustache be given such short shrift.

The Drowsy Mustache

It looks like someone has been spending too much time at the local somnambulist outfitters. I hope he does not shave off his mustache in a fit of hypnagogic dysphoria.

Jaunty and Rakish

Mustaches are like salads, usually best when simply dressed. But sometimes crushed velvet, tights and a commanding hat are the only appropriate accoutrement.

Mustache Resource

Loyal Reader Kate T. has alerted me to a valuable mustache resource. As reported by the indispensable Indicommons, a "Great Mustaches of The LOC" tag has been added to the Library of Congress photostream on Flickr. While most of the images already tagged are not of the Nineteenth Century vintage, there are many fine examples of the styles that survived until after The War To End All Wars.

For example, Dr. John T Gerin's impressive, yet still professional, faceshelf.



A "Good Show" to all involved!